Getting Consent Matters.
As we head into the festive season and experience summer, people will be getting out, socialising more and getting to meet new people, the atmosphere is usually more relaxed as we’re now in “holiday mode” and alcohol or other substances may also make their way into the setting.
This sets the scene for potential close engagements with new people in a romantic or sexual context.
Getting consent matters as it creates a space where people can choose freely. Engaging with someone in an activity without their consent can lead to legal consequences and also cause significant trauma for the individuals involved.
Consent in a social context is offered in various ways:
Verbal consent.
Nonverbal consent which may include body language such as nodding your head or a thumbs up, facial expressions.
Consent does NOT look like:
Silence or no response
Relenting under pressure
Incapacitation - if someone is asleep intoxicated or impaired due to having condition that limits their capacity to make an informed decision
Vague words or body language – consent needs to be clear, enthusiastic and affirmative. If someone’s body language isn’t consistent with what they are saying, then it’s safe to assume they have not consented.
Lack of information – consent needs clear understanding, if relevant details aren’t shared then you cannot give informed consent.
Conditional consent –“yes , if …. “ or “only if ….” Does not constitute unconditional consent.
Assumed consent – you cannot assume some is OK with an activity based on their appearance, behaviour, clothing or other attributes. They need to expressly agree to it.
Past consent – saying yes to something once doesn’t mean it will always be OK.
When you need someone’s consent:
Consent is always vital in sexual situations but there are also many other social scenarios where it is required :
Entering someone’s home or physical space
Making physical contact
Taking and sharing videos and photos
Sharing personal information or data
Keep in mind that if you feel uncomfortable with something that requires your consent, that you can always say ‘no” without explanation. You have the right to refuse things that don’t feel OK with you.
It is also important to get clear about the difference between coercion and consent. Coercion is the use of force, intimidation, threats or manipulation to make someone do something they don’t want to do. True consent is an agreement that a person gives freely, without pressure or influence. It also requires of them to understand what they are agreeing to. Distinguishing between coercion and consent is important and can often determine whether an act is legal.
If there is anything in this blog that has raised concern for you please reach out for support to your GP, 1800RESPECT or a trusted family member or friend for further support to engage in professional help.